Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.