the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater