That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair