Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (310)

Last Night in California (310)

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Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5

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(310): Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5 http://tfl.nu/knlc

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He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible

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well did you say yes?

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(323): He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible (310): well did you say yes? http://tfl.nu/94vg

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She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL

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so no, not her best night

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(310): She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL (310): so no, not her best night http://tfl.nu/htxy

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Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?

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(310): Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow? http://tfl.nu/9403

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Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself

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(310): Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself http://tfl.nu/e5tp

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Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"

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(310): Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there" http://tfl.nu/gk1u

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He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.

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(310): He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/0w0d

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Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub

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(310): Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub http://tfl.nu/ka0h

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I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.

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(310): I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship. http://tfl.nu/r05o

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I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.

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(310): I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are. http://tfl.nu/tz5c

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True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?

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(310): True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant? http://tfl.nu/aiag

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I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.

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(310): I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life. http://tfl.nu/lr0e

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I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...

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(310): I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall... http://tfl.nu/nu3z

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If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic

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(310): If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic http://tfl.nu/pi8f

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What's the address?

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Too drunk. Just google it.

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IT'S YOUR HOUSE

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(310): What's the address? (626): Too drunk. Just google it. (310): IT'S YOUR HOUSE http://tfl.nu/ymw0

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Last Night in California (310)

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