See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.