You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
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My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?