Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (310)

Last Night in California (310)

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I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.

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(310): I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life. http://tfl.nu/lr0e

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I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...

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(310): I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall... http://tfl.nu/nu3z

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If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic

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(310): If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic http://tfl.nu/pi8f

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What's the address?

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Too drunk. Just google it.

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IT'S YOUR HOUSE

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(310): What's the address? (626): Too drunk. Just google it. (310): IT'S YOUR HOUSE http://tfl.nu/ymw0

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Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.

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(310): Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack. http://tfl.nu/hyp4

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At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?

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(310): At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude? http://tfl.nu/d5u6

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you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity

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(310): you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity http://tfl.nu/374z

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Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?

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That's two questions.

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(310): Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away? (626): That's two questions. http://tfl.nu/0koe

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we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck

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(310): we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck http://tfl.nu/7dck

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Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12

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(310): Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12 http://tfl.nu/ovmd

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I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.

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(310): I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too. http://tfl.nu/waf5

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What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.

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(310): What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast. http://tfl.nu/jj68

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I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.

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(310): I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations. http://tfl.nu/td7t

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If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.

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(310): If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it. http://tfl.nu/2m7b

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Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?

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(310): Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic? http://tfl.nu/rudq

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Last Night in California (310)

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