I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.