I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table