Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth