I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
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Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
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I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious