He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.