So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES