You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
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So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
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She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.