So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES