My liver just broke up with me...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My friends, they love my intelligence
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher