My hand turned me down
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My liver just broke up with me...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.