I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.