I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
