I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight