It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
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I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
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I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"