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Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
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