just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too