chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...