Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless