using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium