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there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
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