I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.