I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.