She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.