And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away