We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
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Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.