I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.