You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.