His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.