we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.