Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...