You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.