We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities