She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.