You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.