I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him