You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer