im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????