Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Colorado (303)

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  You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.

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  (303): You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him. http://tfl.nu/i4cz
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  Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.

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  (303): Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent. http://tfl.nu/patp
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  I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.

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  (303): I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time. http://tfl.nu/ridr
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  I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome

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  (303): I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome http://tfl.nu/ctsa
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  He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago

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  (303): He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago http://tfl.nu/p1nu
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  That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..

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  (303): That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end.. http://tfl.nu/ockn
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  Cops are just so fun an beautifuk

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  (303): Cops are just so fun an beautifuk http://tfl.nu/p8be
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  My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.

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  (303): My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/0900
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  Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.

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  (303): Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected. http://tfl.nu/v8lk
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  I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.

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  (303): I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list. http://tfl.nu/udqv
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  And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.

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  (303): And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked. http://tfl.nu/770z
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  Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.

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  (303): Get a piano. I want to have sex on it. http://tfl.nu/t29o
  Replies (19) Good night (2010) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.

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  (303): She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/lf23
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  He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.

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  Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.

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  (970): He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out. (303): Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do. http://tfl.nu/z2aq
  Replies (3) Good night (1905) Bad night (496)
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  He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.

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  (303): He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door. http://tfl.nu/ylk0
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