We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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