New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize