My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My liver just broke up with me...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex