I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
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he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
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Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?