We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
love makes seman taste better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing