Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...