I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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