speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.