Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????