The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE