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I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
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