I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.