I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
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I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.