i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness