OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.