Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..