Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
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Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
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He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet