Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs