There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.