I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?