How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.