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we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
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